A new beginning (for better and for worse)
Yesterday was our first Shabbat/Sabbath without a rabbi. My husband led the P'sukei D'Zimrah section of Shacharit/Morning Service, and unlike the rabbi, he prayed almost slowly enough for me--I was caught up by the time the chazzan/cantor took over and got to the Yishtabach prayer. (I think I probably shocked a few people--including my husband :) --just by showing up at the beginning of the service: I'd been davvening/praying the early part of the service--at least through P'sukei D'Zimrah--at home for several years because I resented being forced to davven at breakneck speed.)
Relieved of the rabbi's insistence that he davven as quickly as possible--the rabbi recently won an all-time speed record for our synagogue by praying the entire Shabbat morning service up to the Torah reading in 35 minutes flat--the chazzan took the davvening at a much more relaxed pace. So the service took about three hours, instead of two and a half.
My husband gave a very nice D'var Torah/Word of Torah/Torah discussion/"sermon," saying that the rabbis managed to keep Judaism alive even without "the place that HaShem will choose, " and we, too, can maintain our worship without a rabbi just as our ancestors learned to maintain Judaism without a Temple.
It was nice to have a leisurely service with no rushing and with a sermon that didn't completely ignore the parsha/weekly Torah reading (a peculiar practice of our ex-rabbi).
If only the president hadn't ruined the day by renting out our sanctuary a whopping 45 minutes before the end of Shabbat--we hadn't even started Mincha (Afternoon Service) when the renters first appeared. That was a not-so-nice first in the history of our congregation, and bodes poorly for the future. Will the needs of those (trying to be) somewhat more observant be deemed too expensive by those who are comfortable being somewhat less observant? Will the president send the Shabbos Goy home and lock us out of the Sukkah if we're the only ones eating there?
Relieved of the rabbi's insistence that he davven as quickly as possible--the rabbi recently won an all-time speed record for our synagogue by praying the entire Shabbat morning service up to the Torah reading in 35 minutes flat--the chazzan took the davvening at a much more relaxed pace. So the service took about three hours, instead of two and a half.
My husband gave a very nice D'var Torah/Word of Torah/Torah discussion/"sermon," saying that the rabbis managed to keep Judaism alive even without "the place that HaShem will choose, " and we, too, can maintain our worship without a rabbi just as our ancestors learned to maintain Judaism without a Temple.
It was nice to have a leisurely service with no rushing and with a sermon that didn't completely ignore the parsha/weekly Torah reading (a peculiar practice of our ex-rabbi).
If only the president hadn't ruined the day by renting out our sanctuary a whopping 45 minutes before the end of Shabbat--we hadn't even started Mincha (Afternoon Service) when the renters first appeared. That was a not-so-nice first in the history of our congregation, and bodes poorly for the future. Will the needs of those (trying to be) somewhat more observant be deemed too expensive by those who are comfortable being somewhat less observant? Will the president send the Shabbos Goy home and lock us out of the Sukkah if we're the only ones eating there?
posted by Shira Salamone at 2:21 PM
10 Comments:
I think you are being unfair to the President of your Shul. He is responsible for the well being of the community/congregation, not your personal benefit. The fact is, your congregation can't afford a Rabbi, can't afford it's building (for much longer), and one of the only things keeping the lights on is the Saturday night rentals.
So I can appreciate your frustration at the sanctuary not being available for your personal use, but I think your expectations are unfair.
I appreciate that in your view, you should be accommodated because you are striving to be more religiously observant. I question the assumption there, why should your non-traditional Conservative Synagogue expend time and money for your to keep more observance the way you see fit?
Do realize that you are essentially asking people that pay and rarely show up to cough up more money for your benefit of which they receive no benefit. Why is that fair, just, or obligatory?
I too dislike a speed-rendition of the morning service. (It's right before lunch that I start wishing we could speed up ;) ).
Really liked the lesson behind your husband's d'var torah, very inspirational.
It seems from your writing that the congregation doesn't know the rental schedule and that you are always interrupted by renters in the middle of services. Is there any way for the president to be more proactive about notifying the congregation as to when the sanctuary has been rented out? At least you could be made aware that at such and such time, the congregation would need to move to the chapel.
Miami Al, I've resigned myself to "davvening in the dungeon"--we really can't afford to light and heat/cool the sanctuary for less than a minyan.
But I refuse to resign myself to having our building rented out while it's still Shabbat or Yom Tov. It may be permissible, but it's "marit ayin" (roughly translation: it looks bad). It makes our synagogue look less like a house of worship and more like the neighborhood catering hall.
"Do realize that you are essentially asking people that pay and rarely show up to cough up more money for your benefit of which they receive no benefit."
Who asked them not to show up? That's a poor argument. I feel as if you're "accusing" me of being too observant.
However, your comment did make me suggest to my husband that we pay for the extra lighting if the cost causes the president to threaten to close the sukkah except at times when the entire congregation is using it.
Jendeis, I'm a born slow-poke when it comes to reading Hebrew.
I'll tell my husband that he made a hit. Thank you on his behalf.
Re the rental schedule, the problem is more the other way around, in my opinion--it's the renters who don't know the congregation's schedule, as no effort has been made to ensure that they know when our sabbath or holidays end. Okay, I'll move downstairs to save money, but I *still* don't think that there should be anyone in the sanctuary until Shabbat or Yom Tov is over. Our synagogue building is now better known in the neighborhood as a rental hall and party room than as a house of prayer, and I don't think that's right. Even a dying congregation is entitled to some (self-)respect.
Shira wrote,
"Who asked them not to show up? That's a poor argument. I feel as if you're "accusing" me of being too observant."
Nope, not accusing you of being too observant. I'm asking why your non observant fellow congregants should pay the cost of your observance?
They aren't there for Minchah on Shabbat. You are, you get to use the Shul for "free" in that you aren't paying more for it being available at that time than people who don't.
"But I refuse to resign myself to having our building rented out while it's still Shabbat or Yom Tov."
Then you take that fight to the ritual committee and board, and if you lose that fight, you find a new Shul. Sabotaging their rental schedule is unreasonable. Sometimes, when you are part of an organization, the organization makes decisions that you don't agree with. You either leave over it, stay and lobby for change, or accept that you lost. Your actions are suggesting that you will try to sabotage the organization's decisions because you believe you are right.
For the record, I agree with you on your views regarding the rental schedule. However, your Shul's congregation clearly does not. I'm just not understanding why the non-observant Shul is obligated to pick up the tab for your observance... anymore than I think that I should pick up the tab for Kollelniks and other underemployed part of Orthodoxy that choose self indulgence over communal responsibility.
I pay to built my own Sukkah, provide it with electricity, etc. I'm not sure why your congregation is obligated to supply you with a Sukkah AND heat/electricity for your meals/observance.
You should be as observant as you are comfortable, I'm just not sure that you have the right to handle your non-observant friends/neighbors the bill.
My previous response seems to have vanished into cyperspace. :(
Miami Al, I live in an apartment--where would I build a sukkah? I think it's standard procedure (or should be) for a city synagogue to provide a sukkah for its congregants. There's really no other way for us to fulfil the mitzvah of eating in a sukkah on a Shabbat or Yom Tov when the kosher restaurants are closed (or in a small city with no kosher restaurants). The comparison with Kollel is not a good one, if I may respectfully say so--basic halachic observance is required in every community, whereas only some communities hold Kollel to be a requirement for men.
It's debatable whether our *congregation* approves of the rental schedule, or whether it's just been foisted on us by our president, who tends to make decisions unilaterally with the expectation that they'll be rubber-stamped later. I intend to take my protest to the next Ritual, Board, and members' meetings.
Shira,
"I live in an apartment--where would I build a sukkah? I think it's standard procedure (or should be) for a city synagogue to provide a sukkah for its congregants."
Your obligation to fulfill the Mitzvah of Sukkot falls on you, not your neighbors.
Apparently, the President of your congregation does not agree that it is his congregants responsibility to provide a Sukkah for you to use as your personal Sukkah.
The apartment dwellers in our community all scramble to get invites to provide homes for Sukkot Yom Tov + Shabbat. If they don't snag invites for Shabbat, the husband usual makes Kiddush in the Shul's one and they make do, and they avoid bread during the week.
"I live in an apartment--where would I build a sukkah? I think it's standard procedure (or should be) for a city synagogue to provide a sukkah for its congregants."
It is admirable for you to want to eat in a Sukkah despite no ability to construct one on your own.
I'm just not sure that your congregation is obligated to provide you with one.
Put another way: presumably, you pay the same dues as a twice/year member of your Shul, right? You use the synagogue 3 times/day on Shabbat, Chagim, plus other usage. You get hundreds of times more usage than your fellow congregants, despite paying the same "dues."
I appreciate your pride in your increased observance, and it is admirable. I just do not see how they have a financial obligation to support you in any observance that you pick and choose.
The Congregation isn't observant.
The reason that I see it as the same as Kollel is that you are in the SAME position they are. You have decided to embark on a level of behavior that you believe is preferable, and the rest of your community, through their actions, does not. The fact that yours is based in Halachah and Kollel is NOT doesn't change the underlying economic situation.
You have chosen to "increase your observance," and increase that is expensive (no Saturday night rentals before Shabbat is out, etc.) to the Congregation, and expect the Congregation to pay for it because you're being "more observant." Of what interest is your observance to your non observant neighbors, and why should they pay for it?
Please think about what I'm saying, not just argue the points. I obviously, through my lifestyle, agree with you that you should be doing the things that you are doing. I'm simply highlighting that your negative right to not have your religious practices interfered with doesn't necessarily create a positive right by which your fellow congregants need to subsidize your lifestyle.
"Your obligation to fulfill the Mitzvah of Sukkot falls on you, not your neighbors."
I hadn't thought about it from quite than angle.
"The apartment dwellers in our community all scramble to get invites to provide homes for Sukkot Yom Tov + Shabbat. If they don't snag invites for Shabbat, the husband usual makes Kiddush in the Shul's one and they make do, and they avoid bread during the week."
Thanks for the information. My husband and I also avoid eating bread during Sukkot when we can't get to a Sukkah, but I wasn't sure that that approach was halachically acceptable--I had thought that we might actually be "cheating."
" . . . your negative right to not have your religious practices interfered with doesn't necessarily create a positive right by which your fellow congregants need to subsidize your lifestyle."
You've certainly given me food for thought.
Shira,
Thanks for taking that in the spirit it was intended. Obviously, I think you should keep Shabbat through Havdalah, I think you should eat/dwell in a Sukkah, I think that everything you are doing is a "good thing."
All I'm saying is that when you are unique in your observance, I'm not sure why you expect to be accommodated by the congregation as much as you already are, let alone as much as you would like to be.
Sure, you can point to position papers that "Conservative Jews believe in Halacha," blah, blah, blah, they don't, at least in so much as actions speak louder than words. Especially in your congregation, they don't.
I assume that in greater NYC you can find observant egalitarian Jews, perhaps enough of them to have a community under Conservative auspices. However, if you are a member of a non-observant congregation, I think that there is a limit to how much you should expect to be subsidized in your observance by your congregants that don't believe the same things you do.
" . . . if you are a member of a non-observant congregation, I think that there is a limit to how much you should expect to be subsidized in your observance by your congregants that don't believe the same things you do."
You're probably right. :(
Whether you're right about me being able to find an *observant* egalitarian Conservative shul, even in the NYC metro area, remains to be seen. I'm looking.
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